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As far as midlife crises go, mine is colorful. It’s also painful, expensive, and permanent. My journey began at the 2022 Texas Monthly BBQ Festival, where the magazine partnered with a tattoo shop offering festivalgoers Texas Monthly–designed tattoos of anthropomorphic foods, such as pork ribs and tacos. (They will be available this year, too.) My schedule prevented me from getting a taco inked on my body that day, but I promised myself it wouldn’t be long before I got one. In January I walked into Bat and Cave Tattoo in Dallas and made good on the promise, adding the word “Martes,” Tuesday in Spanish, below the smiling taco. It hurt. I gritted my teeth and mumbled a series of expletives. My teenage son, who was…

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