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Kendrick Lamar surprise-released a new single on Monday, and Drake had a bad day. The track, a six-and-a-half minute instant classic, was a howl of rage and mockery at the Canadian megastar, escalating a war of words that had recently tipped from cold to hot in a way that effectively salts the earth beneath poor Drake’s feet. Neither of those fellas are Texans, though, so why are we writing about it? You won’t believe this, but it’s because of Houston megachurch pastor Joel Osteen.Nearly five-and-a-half minutes into the track, Lamar drops yet another brutal simile in a song full of devastating insults. “Am I battling ghost or AI?” he asks, referencing both a song Drake released in April that featured an AI-generated verse mimicking Tupac…

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