One of the amazing things about being a female of Generation X is that we were always told we could succeed at any career and live our lives with less cultural restraint than the Baby Boomers had at our age. The irony is that we are now expected to “do it all”. Let’s be honest, Boomers and Generation Xers are facing the challenge to “do it all”. Under that very broad umbrella includes caring for aging parents, grandparents and great grandparents.
We have figured out how to “do it all” by spreading out the responsibilities, it’s the only way that we can manage. We depend on homework helpers, nannies, create carpools, iPhone apps, master color coded computer calendars with automatic alerts, and most of all our spouse or partner. So where does that leave room for the additional surviving generation with whom we want to spend quality time? Our guts cringe at the thought of a smelly “nursing home.” However, there are great retirement living options, especially in DFW! And of course there are senior care caregivers who can help at home.
There is a lot of guilt associated with the “do it all” mentality. I know that on many days I don’t feel like one area of my life received my full attention. There is also even more guilt when we are not emotionally prepared to face the issues that come with age. There are a number of needs, mostly physical, that we are not comfortable with providing such as: changing adult briefs and feeding someone pureed food. Medical professionals are accustomed to providing these services and often have unrealistic expectations for families.
The best way to spread this responsibility without carrying guilt is to set realistic expectations, set clear boundaries and spread the responsibility to a hired caregiver on whom you can depend and trust. Know ahead of time what you are able to do, and unable to do and ask for help! Do not let others, be it doctors, friends or family members, guilt you into more than you can handle. The time with your aging loved one should be enjoyable, for you and your loved one. A Mom’s Best Friend Senior Care caregiver can carry the burden of the work and provide you with a happy, healthy parent or grandparent.
Director of Senior Care Services
Mom's Best Friend