By Tolly P. Salz
Some of you might know that I’m somewhat of a sports fanatic. In my youth, I tried to keep up with the abundance of boys and tomboys on the block, which produced in me a kind of scrappy survivalist striving to maintain a sense of pride and dignity. I soon found that while I’m not the best player out there, I am an unbelievable spectator. I consider myself one heck of an armchair quarterback and a champion for the underdog. The only reason I even own a television and subscribe to cable is so that I can watch all the sports without having to travel. But put one of my kids on the pitcher’s mound or free throw line, and I’m on the verge of throwing up every single time.
It’s a curious thing, this nausea that arises when someone you love is working through blood, sweat, and tears to bring his best game. And I know enough to admit this one fact: I love my teams with this same kind of intensity.
This last weekend brought an unexpected trifecta of sorts: The Horns beat Arizona State in game three, which secured a trip to Omaha (their 34th); the Mavs put out the Heat in game six, which secured an amazing victory for the city of Dallas—an NBA championship (the franchise’s 1st); and my younger brother won the famed Member-Member Tournament at the UT Golf Club in Austin (for the 2nd time), a pretty big win for someone who is “almost a man” nearing the age of 40. Add in the fact that my oldest son hit an over-the-fence home run, and I’ve got more than a trifecta on my hands.
But there’s something else about these victories that make them so sweet: they were earned not by one single hot dog or show boat, but rather, from a team effort. With blood, sweat, and tears—and years of hard work—each participant brought his best game, worked with others, and emerged victorious.
Ok, I’ll admit that I might not be writing this article if we were all a bunch of losers this weekend. But maybe I would, because all of this winning has gotten me to think about another kind of victory here—and it’s a win that has the potential to beget far greater victories in the game of life. It’s the fact that these teams who won did so together, with dedication, determination, character, and class. Each player put aside his narcissism and kept his ego in check, focusing on bringing his best game to his teammates.
My husband is one of those guys who loves to coach, and his motto for all of his teams is this: Your job on a team is to make yourself and your teammates better. Winning isn’t everything, but if each player is doing his best to better his own game as well as the game of his teammates, then winning will come, in time—as well as in ways that span far beyond the “Hello, win column!” that results from a single game.
And that’s what I loved about watching the Mavs play, the beautiful yin and yang of talent that created an unstoppable synergetic force throughout the series and was most beautifully demonstrated last Sunday night. And what I loved even more was the class that the Mavericks—and their owner—all displayed after the win. When Jason Kidd was interviewed, he praised Dirk and his other teammates; when Dirk Nowitski was interviewed, he talked about the other players, coaches, and owner. Each player interviewed lifted the entire team up; heck, even Mark Cuban had Don Carter share the spotlight—and the glory—of the entire organization. Now if that’s not putting an ego in check, I don’t know what is.
I think that’s why I loved the movie Cars so much. Show-boat Lightning McQueen finally realized that being a one-man-show didn’t amount to much. Only when he relied on the help and support of his friends and teammates could he win—and win he did, by showing the most character of anyone with his final act of selflessness. At the end of the day, winning is nice, but it only lasts for so long. True character, however, will last you a lifetime. It might not be able to buy the biggest home or coolest car, but it can ensure a reputation that cannot be tarnished no matter the external elements.
Sports provides the perfect arena for our children to learn how to be young men and women of character—if we allow for such lessons to be learned. If we’re so focused on the win or on our own child’s individual greatness (even in little league!), we lose out on an incredible aspect of raising good children in even better communities.
It’s players like Kevin Durant of Oklahoma City who decide, along with his coach, that his team would be more successful if he didn’t score as many points per game. It takes true sportsmanship for that kind of player to put “team” before “me.” It’s what the Texas Rangers did when they clenched the ALCS (which secured the Rangers their 1st World Series appearance in the franchise’s 50-year history) and waited for teammate Josh Hamilton to come to the locker room before starting the celebration—with Ginger Ale, not champagne, out of respect for his sobriety. These are the victories of true winners not just on the field or on the court, but also—and especially—in the game of life.
And these are the victories we need to take more time to celebrate with our children—as well as encourage when they are playing on the field with their own teams. And at the parade tomorrow, this is the victory I want my kids to see—the combination of blood, sweat, tears, and selflessness that brings about character. And that this character is what the real winners of the game possess.
For some incredible stories of selflessness in the world of sports, here are some that are worth a look:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jocw-oD2pgo&feature=related
Sara Tucholosky’s (Oregon Softball) home run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8SNx6W3X6U&feature=related
Tom Rinaldi tells of a heartwarming act of sportsmanship in one high school basketball game
http://basketballinsights.blogspot.com/2011/05/5-lessons-kevin-durant-teaches-players.html
What Kevin Durant can teach players
http://www.cbssports.com/video/player/play/nba/UZqAf1NuQX9Qo2QPnxPIsQWowYxTLJDw
Jason Kidd’s post-game interview
Please share your own stories and links as well.