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Welcome 2016.jpg Start planning today and welcome 2016!

It is hard to imagine that 2016 will be here in 6 weeks. Let’s welcome the New Year with eagerness, energy and positive attitudes! Between now and the end of the year, I will share a tip, trick or thought to motivate you to embrace 2016. Take it with a grain of salt. Maybe it’ll resonate with you, maybe it won’t, but if you don’t enjoy the start of the New Year, you have no one to blame but yourself.

2016 New Year's Resolution #1: Plan Efficiently
What does plan efficiently mean? It means to perform or function in the best possible manner with the least waste of time and effort.

How can you plan efficiently? Here are some ways you can plan efficiently, feel free to cut and paste with your own preferences or passions.

1. Take 5. Set aside time to organize and prioritize your day. In as little as 5-minutes, you can plan your day, reduce stress, ease anxiety and be productive. Put your to-do list on a piece of paper, on your iCal, in your favorite app or voice memo. When you take 5 and plan your day, you'll be able to check off your to-do's and feel accomplished.

2. Family Calendar. You should have all the activities, drop offs and pick ups, appointments, travel schedules and commitments of all your family members in at least one location. On any given day, our children open up the iCal app and see who is going where and when. They know when there is a short turnaround time or they have downtime.

3. 3-4 hour increments. Hone in on your day, opposed to looking at the big picture. The big picture is overwhelming, so bite off small chunks, and one at a time, you’ll feel accomplished and increase productivity. In Matthew 6:34, we are instructed, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”.

4. Prioritize commitments. Family wedding this Friday and Saturday, a ballet fundraiser on Sunday, One Life Radio Show on Wednesday and Ancestry project the next Monday. Our family Christmas cards can wait. Focus on projects or commitments that require immediate attention. The rest can take a back seat to what's staring you in the face now.

Ready to plan efficiently? Take 5, keep up with a family calendar, focus on 3-4 hour chunks at a time and prioritize your commitments. Start today so when 2016 comes, you’ll be proficient and efficient.

Next week, we’ll talk about blood pressure triggers. Start thinking about what makes your blood boil and stay tuned for tips, tricks and thoughts.

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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Biking, running and bleachers.jpg Individual sports help kids become high performers.

Every two weeks, I have the opportunity to go on One Life Radio 1190AM as a fitness guest expert. Recently, Vito joined and led the discussion about raising high performance kids. Vito was a 4-year Varsity wrestler at Indiana University, 3-year captain, 2 time honorable mention All-American, Academic All American, Big Ten Medal of Honor recipient and Kelly School of Business graduate. His collegiate athletic experience taught him skills that helped him succeed on the mat and have carried on with him beyond college.

As parents, our job is to take what we have learned (or experienced), stand shoulder to shoulder with one another and then teach our kids. 

One of the most important character traits we try and instill in our kids is learning to be accountable. Accountability is simply the willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. Developing accountability takes times. It is not an instinctive reaction and it doesn't give you instant gratification. It happens over time and begins in the earliest stages of life. How can you teach your child to be accountable so they can be high performing?

1. Individual Sports/Activities
As a wrestler, Vito learned accountability because winning and losing was all his fault. When he stepped onto the mat, if he won, it was because of him, and if he lost, it was because of him. Winning and losing in an individual sport does not allow you to blame someone else. You have to be accountable. Parents (including myself) oftentimes make excuses for children and coddle them when kids should take ownership. Put your child in an individual sport, and see how your child’s character develops and matures. What are our children involved in? Throughout the year, they participate in both individual and team activities: swimming, ballet, piano, football, Tae Kwon Do, Kumon, wrestling, basketball, baseball, hiking, triathlons, 5K's and 8-mile runs.

2. Performance Recap
Three of our four children swim competitively (USA Swimming requires children to be at least 6-years old). They are not going to the Olympics, but this year round sport conditions their bodies and improves their mental health. At the last swim meet, Nico (our 7-year old) missed the mark on 2 of his 3 events. At his first event, he forgot his goggles. At his third event, he swam the wrong stroke and was immediately disqualified. After his performance, I asked him two questions: 1. What did you like about your performance? 2. What would you do differently? These questions are asked of all kids after their activities and school. Why? I value having a conversation with my kids. I want to be a sounding board for them when they have positive and not-so-positive things happen. Most importantly, by having a performance recap conversation, children learn what is working well and what they can do differently to change the outcome.

3. Fail Forward
One of the toughest things for me to watch is when one of my kids fails. Their tears, outbursts, and looks of disappointment break my heart. On the flipside, after their failure, what our kids do about it sets him or her apart. After a botched score, dropped ball or forgotten homework, our kids are learning there is no one to blame but themselves, so they go out and study harder, run extra routes, or leave a post-it note reminder. Teaching your child how to rebound after failing helps build confidence that when they fail (and they will), how they can be accountable for their mistakes and do something about it. When children are accountable for their failures, they will be able to rise to the occasion the next time they are given an opportunity.

Being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding job. Every conversation with our kids helps build a foundation for the future. Helping your child be accountable becomes more habitual when they participate in individual sports/activities, have a performance recap and learn to fail forward. Together, let’s become the strongest parents and build a strong family.

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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When you feel overwhelmed, stop and smell the flowers.

One of my favorite hotels is the Four Seasons. The moment I walk into the lobby and see the amazing floral arrangements, inhale the eucalyptus on the refreshing towels or sip the cucumber infused water, I am transported to a new stratosphere, a million miles away from my reality. Unlike the resort, as a busy mom, I go through at least Ten Seasons a year, when I’m transported to a place of chaos and life is overwhelming.

What seasons make me feel overwhelmed?

  • April: Pasquale's birthday
  • May: Marcello's Birthday, Mother's Day, End of School, Summer Camps
  • August: Back to School, Nico's Birthday
  • November: Holiday planning
  • December: Holiday planning, End of Semester, Arianna's Birthday 

Over the years, I’ve applied these practices to "lessen the pressure", so that I can be encouraged by the changing seasons.

1. Prioritize. Keep a running list of all the things you want to accomplish. Then, prioritize what is the most important thing to do, down to the least important. One of our favorite family books is The Three Questions because one of the answers Nikolai is in search of is, “What is the right thing to do?” Prioritizing helps us focus on the right thing to do and the right time to do it. You can practice prioritizing with your children too! For years, we would give our children a very "short list" when coming home. #1: Take your junk (out of the car). #2: Put your shoes away.  #3: Wash your hands. Over the years, our "short list" has matured and as a result, has helped our children learn how to prioritize.

2. Be present in the moment. You cannot control what will happen in the future, and you cannot undo the past. Before you know it, babies walk, talk and sleep through the night, toddlers feed and clothe themselves, school aged kids read and write, and adolescents drive and go off to college. All too quickly, these chapters pass and fade into distant memories. So as much as possible, try and disengage from things that distract you (texting, social media, keeping up with the Jones, etc.). Distractions can lead to feeling overwhelmed and you miss the mark on who is most important. The next time you feel overwhelmed, check your surroundings, do a personal inventory of how you are spending your time, take a deep breath and be present in the moment. 

3. Do just enough. Once you identify your seasons that cause you to get overwhelmed, learn how to do just enough. Nothing more. Nothing less. Over the years, I’ve driven my husband, children and myself crazy with this “pressure” that I need to outperform what was done in the past. Nonsense! When you do "just enough", the seasons can be enjoyed, and without as much drama. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or procrastinating, I look forward to the seasons and as the children get older, they help create the birthday poster boards, bake Christmas cookies and appreciate the seasons as something to look forward to, not get overwhelmed by. 

Outside, seasons change four times a year, but inside our homes, the seasons are constantly changing. Let’s enjoy the seasons by learning how to prioritize, being present in the moment and do just enough.

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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Push-ups help you burn tons of calories!

PUSH-UPS ARE ALL YOU!

The other evening, we were watching football with our boys and I asked our 8-year old a question. He responded with, “ya”. Blame it my controlling nature, or my tiredness, but that short-answer-word drives me crazy, especially when speaking to an adult. So right there on the spot, I decided the next time our kids respond to a question without saying, “yes” (and preferably yes, sir or yes, ma’am), they will do 5 push-ups.
 
In all seriousness, in addition to using push-ups as a form of discipline, push-ups are one of the best overall exercises when performed correctly. To perform push-ups, follow these steps.

  • Place your palms on the floor under your shoulders and knees under your hips.
  • Extend your legs and feet behind you, toes dug into the floor, eyes looking 2-3" ahead. 
  • Keep your head in line with your spine. Your body should be like a strait line from your head to your heels.
  • Lower your body 1-2” off the floor, keep your elbows by your side, do not let them flare out.
  • Squeeze your chest, abs, butt and push-up to start position. Exhale as you push-up.

Note: If you need to modify, decrease the range of motion or drop to your knees until you build up strength.
 
Why are push-ups so beneficial?

1. Burn a lot of calories! Push-ups are a compound exercise, which means that it engages upper and lower body muscles. You stabilize from your head to your heels while in a prone (or plank position). The more muscles you engage in an exercise, the greater your calorie expenditure.

2. Improve your posture. Do you find yourself slouching at the computer, when driving in the car or standing around talking with your friends? Push-ups strengthen the chest, and core muscles. By strengthening these muscle groups, your body can support your shoulders and back for good posture.

3. Protect your lower back. When executed properly, the push-up engages your torso muscles. Strengthening the muscles that surround your lower back alleviates pressure from the lower back. Note: While performing the push-up, if you feel any pressure or pain in your lower back, stop immediately, check your form and take a break.

4. Push-ups are free and convenient. Push-ups can be performed anywhere, anytime and don't require a gym membership. It is really important to have “go-to” exercises that can help improve your overall strength, conditioning and emotional state of mind. Take 3-minutes out of your busy day, perform 3 sets of 20 push-ups each and see how amazing you feel.

5. Positive form of discipline. As a mom of four, I’m constantly looking for positive and gender-neutral ways to discipline our kids.  Push-ups are one form of discipline we use in our home, and even our 2-year old can do a push-up (or at least attempt one)! Our 9-year old does push-ups when she forgets to put her belongings away. Our 8-year old will do push-ups when he forgets to answer “yes” to our questions. And our 7-year old will do push-ups when he speaks unkindly. As for me, I do push-ups in my 30-minute workouts.

Just like parenting, push-ups challenge your mental and physical toughness. And through consistency and repetition, you can become the strongest parent, physically and mentally.

be+positive,
Niccole
Co-Founder
Strongest Mom
469-573-1MOM


P.S. Want an ego boost? Perform perfect push-ups! You deserve to feel proud and then reward your hard work with a pat on the back.

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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Soar to new heights.jpg Have a discreet tongue when dealing with confrontation.

Confrontation is messy; feelings get hurt and relationships can come to a screeching halt. Do you remember the last time you confronted someone? One time after a preschool soccer game, a boy spat in our son's face right in front of me as he was walking through the parent tunnel. Not exactly the kind of sportsmanship any child signs up for and before I knew it, I was in a confrontation with the boy's mom.
 
What I am discovering is that having a discreet tongue reflects a heart of purity and a journey toward becoming the strongest parent. It is not easy to hold my tongue (especially when one of my children are being offended). The other morning I read this passage and heeded to it, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
 
The next time you face confrontation or are the confronter, try this approach and see if you can diffuse a situation instead of adding fuel to the fire.
 
Be Calm.
Being calm is defined as not showing emotions. Learning how to be calm when a situation arises takes practice. Take a deep breath or count to 10 before you react. Walk away for a brief moment to collect your thoughts before confronting the situation. The more you practice this behavior, the more habitual it becomes and the better your chances to be calm the next time you feel like you are going to short circuit.
 
Be Respectful. 
Rely on the Golden Rule, “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself." When you are frustrated or disgruntled, pull him or her aside, speak kindly, and confront from a place of love. Honoring the person reflects your character, shows empathy and is praiseworthy.
 
Move on.
If you don’t see eye to eye with someone, move on and don’t look back. You cannot control how others react; you can only control how you respond to the situation and how you allow the situation to control you. Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone or approve of the behavior, it helps you let go of what is holding you prisoner so that you can move on.
 
Dealing with confrontation is hard. If you can be calm, be respectful and learn how to move on, you’ll set a great example for your child and use the situation as a teachable moment. After all, you learn how to become the strongest parent by facing the challenges that come your way. 

be+positive,
Niccole


P.S. After the confrontation on the soccer field, we said a prayer for the boy and his family. We cannot begin to understand what is happening in the hearts and homes of others, so we chose to pray for forgiveness and healing. 

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

 

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Society Bakery cake.jpg Have one cheat meal!

At a parent social, a mom shared with me that she clicked on our website and after seeing our workouts, she said to herself, “I could never look like you do in just 30-minutes.” And I asked her, “Why do you think that you can't?”
 
I share the following from a place of humility with a sole purpose and desire to help others look and feel the best they can. Oftentimes, people will ask me, “What do you do to look the way you do?” And I tell them about our 30-minute workouts, but more importantly, I tell them about my disciplined routine to eating well (not perfectly) for more than 10 years.
 
These are my 7 truths that have helped me, and my hope is to help you find your truths, so that you can become the strongest version of you.
 
Truth #1: Scale Free
Besides my annual physical exams, the last time I chose to step on the scale was May 1, 2013, the day before our fourth child was born. Why? The older I get, the more I realize weight is just a number. What matters most is the way clothes fit. Keep a token piece of apparel in your closet, put it on every now and again and see how it fits. If it is snug, don’t ignore it and do something about it. If it fits well, smile big and keep up the great work!
 
Truth #2: Eat Before You Mingle
The next time you go out, think about fueling your body before you go. When you fuel your body with healthy options from home, you are less likely to overindulge in less healthy options when you socialize.
 
Truth #3: Have One Cheat Meal
The more you tell yourself, “no”, the more you will want to do it. Instead of forbidding your cravings, say, “yes” to one meal.  This approach will help you plan which meal you want to cheat on and gives you something to look forward to, without feeling guilty.
 
Truth #4: Have a Curfew
My kitchen closes at 8:30 pm. Set a strict curfew that forces you to stay out of the kitchen. Enjoy when you wake up hungry opposed to feeling like a tub-of-lard because of a late night binge.
 
Truth #5: Reduce and Portion Control “Empty” Calories
What is your nemesis? Is it bread, pasta, tortilla chips, pita chips, popcorn, sweets or other? Identify your downfall; eat your empty calories only after you’ve had a well-balanced meal and be sure to portion control. Eventually, recognizing and rejecting these types of foods will become habitual and your body will thank you!
 
Truth #6: Prepare Simple Meals and Establish Routine
You should have simple meals and snacks that are easy to prepare. You should have an established eating routine. If you want to reach "maintenance stage", then consistency in both these areas will help you succeed. Need some help to establish your routine? Strongest Mom has simple breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner options, email us and we'll send them to you. Strongest Mom wants to help you succeed to eat well, establish routine and reach maintenance.
 
Truth #7: Befriend Your Food
Food is not your enemy. How you think about food, and why, when and where you consume food is your enemy. Break through your bad habits and become friendly with your food. Educate yourself on fibrous rich foods like beans, berries, greens and pears. Encourage yourself to eat more fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. You are what you eat and become whom you befriend.
 
Hopefully these truths have sparked an interest for you to identify and practice truths that matter most to you. Start with the food you feed yourself and your family will reap the benefits. You are capable of fueling your mind, body and spirit.

P.S. I LOVE birthday cake and order really large ones. What do I do with the leftovers? Cut them down into portion control sizes, double wrap them in Saran wrap and store them in the freezer. Then, when I'm ready to "sin", I defrost a piece, indulge and don't feel guilty:). Life if too short to not enjoy leftover birthday cake!

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four, SMU graduate, and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

 

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Enjoy healthy aging.jpg Aging gracefully begins with regular exercise.

Why do you exercise? More importantly, why don’t you exercise? Maybe it’s hard to find time. Maybe you get bored easily. Maybe you are genetically blessed and think that you do not need to exercise. Hopefully after reading this, you will be more disciplined (and motivated) to exercise. After all, don’t you want to experience healthy aging?
 
1. Exercise should be as habitual as brushing your teeth. Whether you are a morning person or night owl, schedule time to exercise. Exercise increases bone density, boosts Vitamin D, helps with balance and coordination and can reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s. According to a study published in May in Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience, Stephen M. Rao, a professor at the Schey Center for Cognitive Neuroimaging at the Cleveland Clinic, said “there’s good reason to tell people to exercise” to protect their memories.
 
2. To make exercise habitual, you need a positive attitude. If you complain about your flabby arms, then be proactive and do your push-ups. If toning up is an uphill battle, then stop wearing yoga pants, put on a pair of old jeans and exercise until they fit. If you talk down to yourself, then look in the mirror and believe that you can achieve. Research shows that positive thinking has health benefits like: increased life span, better stress management and physical well-being. Couple a positive attitude with regular exercise and enjoy healthy aging!
 
3. If there is history of diabetes, heart disease or suicide in your family, then start exercising today. Exercise can lower insulin resistance, reduce your risk of heart disease and improve your mood. If you want to live longer, then build muscle with strength training exercises. Muscle not only boosts your metabolism, it increases overall health and longevity! The Center of Disease Control (CDC) has found that strength training can reduce symptoms of many chronic diseases like diabetes, back pain, obesity, arthritis, osteoporosis, and depression.
 
Still not convinced to be disciplined to exercise? The CDC also released important facts about falls. One out of three people over the age of 65 experience a fall, which can result in head injuries and broken bones. Why are elderly people more likely to fall? Elderly people have difficulty with balance, Vitamin D deficiency and lower body weakness.

Even though you cannot turn back the clock, you can embrace healthy aging by becoming disciplined to exercise, having a positive attitude, and taking action so you can become strong.

P.S. What can you achieve when you are disciplined to exercise? A half marathon, in just 11-weeks! What do you want to achieve?

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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Handcrafted Inspirations.jpg Disciplined Parent=Tenderhearted Child
From one mom to another...

If you have rented a “home away from home”, you can relate to the frenzy of "tidying up" before you leave. On our last trip, I came across this heart shaped set of rocks inscribed with encouraging messages. Our 9-year old daughter handcrafted and left this as a welcome gift for the next visitors. I stopped in my tracks and felt truly blessed to be a part of such a tenderhearted act.
 
How can parents raise tenderhearted children? It starts with discipline. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a full time working mom, discipline matters. For the next three weeks, Strongest Mom will talk about discipline in parenting, exercise and eating. Why does discipline matter? According to Buddha, “Discipline leads to freedom.” Have discipline when it comes to boundaries, morals and actions and lead your child to freedom.
 
Boundaries 
You are as you do. If you cannot say “no” to your child, then your child will not honor your parental authority. If you threaten a consequence and don't follow through, then your child will think that you don't care. If you think of discipline as “punishment”, then your child will have a hard time learning from mistakes. Boundaries help teach your child right from wrong, while building valuable social and life skills.
 
Morals
Carry a moral compass of integrity, hard work and compassion. If you want your child to do the right thing always (even when no one is looking), then live your life by the same morals. If you want your child to persevere, then work hard when life gets tough. If you want your child to be tenderhearted, then respect others (and your child). Children learn morals and develop good character by watching how you act and treat others.
 
Actions
You've heard, "Actions speak louder than words". If you want your child to be motivated, then be passionate toward the things you love. If your child has an attitude of entitlement, then teach your child how to go out and be useful. If your child blames others, then teach them how to be accountable so your child learns that actions need to rise above excuses. Being a proactive (not helicopter) parent can help minimize future disasters.
 
When you are a disciplined parent, your child will learn from mistakes, have a "joie de vivre" attitude, and approach life with courage. As Bob Marley once said, “Better to die fighting for freedom then be a prisoner all the days of your life.”  

If your home is anything like ours, it's only a matter of time before a child has a temper tantrum or slams the door shut. How you respond is up to you. Try and be true to yourself and remember this incident is a blip on the radar of your journey to becoming the strongest mom.

      

 
Niccole Maurici
Co-Founder

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

 

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Dinner isn't always prim and proper.jpg This is how we roll!

Remember the first time you held your baby in your arms? Were you excited? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Did you ask yourself, “Holy cow, what have I gotten myself into?”
 
Somewhere along your journey you realized your baby depends on you 100%. Feeding, diapering, gross and fine motor skill development, language, hygiene, transportation, education and independence are your parental responsibilities.
 
The journey to foster your child’s independence is somewhat like a roller coaster. Leading your child to independence will be filled with steady upward climbs, rapid descents, quick turns and occasional loop-de-loops. Give these steps a try to foster your child’s independence and remember to smile for the camera!
 
1. Praise the effort, not the outcome.
You live in a competitive world. Someone’s child is always outperforming yours: reaches milestones faster, scores more points, has higher test scores, gets married and has children before yours. While your child’s outcome might earn you bragging rights, praising the outcome might limit your child’s potential. A study conducted by Carol Dweck, Professor at Stanford showed that children praised for their outcome (versus effort), “enter a fixed mindset, they play it safe in the future and they limit the growth of their talent.” The next time your child finishes, praise the effort, perseverance, leadership or positive attitude. Remember that coming home with the blue ribbon isn’t the end-all-be-all!
 
2. Let your child fail.
Why is failing so important? Learning how to overcome failure is a process that develops character, builds resiliency and fosters independence. Options: you can fix the problem for your child or encourage your child to find a solution. Let your child forget his/her homework. Watch your child have a temper tantrum. Witness your child quit when the going gets tough. THEN, coach your child on how to be responsible, model logical reasoning to your child and demonstrate problem solving. Your child will not only persevere, but will become independent, a winning combination! 
 
3. This is how we roll!
Moms, as you can see by the above photo, sometimes you just need to roll with it. As an A-Type personality, it is not always easy for me to just “roll with it”, but at the same time, my kids need to see that life is messy, chaotic and not prim and proper. After a long week of single parenting (my husband was traveling), I was grateful that my kids could set the table, prepare their own dinner and engage in conversation…their journey to independence. Define how you want your family “to roll” and help your child gain independence.
 
Being the strongest mom is as much about effort as it is the outcome. You wake up everyday and put your best foot forward reminding yourself it is about progress, not perfection.
 
You are all special and the strongest moms I know. 

      


Niccole
Co-Founder
469-573-1MOM

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

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Remember the first time you held your baby in your arms? Were you excited? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Did you ask yourself, “Holy cow, what have I gotten myself into?”
 
Somewhere along your journey you realized your baby depends on you 100%. Feeding, diapering, gross and fine motor skill development, language, hygiene, transportation, education and independence are your parental responsibilities.
 
The journey to foster your child’s independence is somewhat like a roller coaster. Leading your child to independence will be filled with steady upward climbs, rapid descents, quick turns and occasional loop-de-loops. Give these steps a try to foster your child’s independence and remember to smile for the camera!
 
1. Praise the effort, not the outcome.
You live in a competitive world. Someone’s child is always outperforming yours: reaches milestones faster, scores more points, has higher test scores, gets married and has children before yours. While your child’s outcome might earn you bragging rights, praising the outcome might limit your child’s potential. A study conducted by Carol Dweck, Professor at Stanford showed that children praised for their outcome (versus effort), “enter a fixed mindset, they play it safe in the future and they limit the growth of their talent.” The next time your child finishes, praise the effort, perseverance, leadership or positive attitude. Remember that coming home with the blue ribbon isn’t the end-all-be-all!
 
2. Let your child fail.
Why is failing so important? Learning how to overcome failure is a process that develops character, builds resiliency and fosters independence. Options: you can fix the problem for your child or encourage your child to find a solution. Let your child forget his/her homework. Watch your child have a temper tantrum. Witness your child quit when the going gets tough. THEN, coach your child on how to be responsible, model logical reasoning to your child and demonstrate problem solving. Your child will not only persevere, but will become independent, a winning combination! 
 
3. This is how we roll!
Moms, as you can see by the above photo, sometimes you just need to roll with it. As an A-Type personality, it is not always easy for me to just “roll with it”, but at the same time, my kids need to see that life is messy, chaotic and not prim and proper. After a long week of single parenting (my husband was traveling), I was grateful that my kids could set the table, prepare their own dinner and engage in conversation…their journey to independence. Define how you want your family “to roll” and help your child gain independence.
 
Being the strongest mom is as much about effort as it is the outcome. You wake up everyday and put your best foot forward reminding yourself it is about progress, not perfection.
 
You are all special and the strongest moms I know. 

      


Niccole
Co-Founder
469-573-1MOM

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com.