A Park Cities friend recently asked me for advice on dating after divorce. I reflected on my divorce three years ago and all of the ups and downs of being single these past few years. There's a lot I wish I had done differently!
Here's some of the advice I would give someone who has finalized their divorce:
Start with the book "Love, Sex & Dating” by Andy Stanley. It advises that you begin with “becoming the right person so that you are ready when your “right person” comes along".
Then, put into practice what that book advises FOR AT LEAST ONE YEAR.
During that one year, read your next book: “The Stories We Tell Ourselves” written by Scott Gornto (whose counseling practice is in Plano, TX). It explains how we sabotage relationships by creating “stories” about others we have a relationship with….friends, loved ones and potential lovers.
After that, read “Not Your Mother’s Rules - The New Secrets of Dating” by Fein and Schneider. And for good measure, read “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt.
Finally, write down your "Deal Breaker List” for dating….and stick to it! What things about a significant other are a deal breaker for you? Smoking? Lying? Being late for picking you up for a date with no good reason?
Join a Meetup/networking group like singleinthebubble...a singles group for residents of the Park Cities and Preston Hollow (founded by yours truly).
Do all this BEFORE getting on Match.com or the Bumble dating app!
That’s a solid path for recovery and being prepared for your next relationship. Wishing you a healthy and happy journey!