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How do you deal with confrontation?

Confrontation is messy; feelings get hurt and relationships can come to a screeching halt. Do you remember the last time you confronted someone? One time after a preschool soccer game, a boy spat in our son's face right in front of me as he was walking through the parent tunnel. Not exactly the kind of sportsmanship any child signs up for and before I knew it, I was in a confrontation with the boy's mom.
 
What I am discovering is that having a discreet tongue reflects a heart of purity and a journey toward becoming the strongest parent. It is not easy to hold my tongue (especially when one of my children are being offended). The other morning I read this passage and heeded to it, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
 
The next time you face confrontation or are the confronter, try this approach and see if you can diffuse a situation instead of adding fuel to the fire.
 
Be Calm.
Being calm is defined as not showing emotions. Learning how to be calm when a situation arises takes practice. Take a deep breath or count to 10 before you react. Walk away for a brief moment to collect your thoughts before confronting the situation. The more you practice this behavior, the more habitual it becomes and the better your chances to be calm the next time you feel like you are going to short circuit.
 
Be Respectful. 
Rely on the Golden Rule, “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself." When you are frustrated or disgruntled, pull him or her aside, speak kindly, and confront from a place of love. Honoring the person reflects your character, shows empathy and is praiseworthy.
 
Move on.
If you don’t see eye to eye with someone, move on and don’t look back. You cannot control how others react; you can only control how you respond to the situation and how you allow the situation to control you. Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone or approve of the behavior, it helps you let go of what is holding you prisoner so that you can move on.
 
Dealing with confrontation is hard. If you can be calm, be respectful and learn how to move on, you’ll set a great example for your child and use the situation as a teachable moment. After all, you learn how to become the strongest parent by facing the challenges that come your way. 

be+positive,
Niccole


P.S. After the confrontation on the soccer field, we said a prayer for the boy and his family. We cannot begin to understand what is happening in the hearts and homes of others, so we chose to pray for forgiveness and healing. 

Niccole Maurici, University Park mom of four and former certified personal trainer, is the co-founder and creator of the StrongestMom.com website and fitness videos, which promote values important to moms: encouragement, support, positive thinking, and dedication.  To learn more visit our website strongestmom.com. 

 

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Sunday, October 25, 2015